Uh

1st Step: evaluating my abilities

2009-08-28T13:09:00.004-06:00

Is Entrepreneurship For You? { For the most part..... (my answers in blue)

In business, there are no guarantees. There is simply no way to eliminate all the risks associated with starting a small business - but you can improve your chances of success with good planning, preparation, and insight. Start by evaluating your strengths and weaknesses as a potential owner and manager of a small business. Carefully consider each of the following questions:

Are you a self-starter? It will be entirely up to you to develop projects, organize your time, and follow through on details. I can be, have been, especially if I see it as necessary.

How well do you get along with different personalities? Business owners need to develop working relationships with a variety of people including customers, vendors, staff, bankers, and professionals such as lawyers, accountants, or consultants. Can you deal with a demanding client, an unreliable vendor, or a cranky receptionist if your business interests demand it? I am better at this than I used to be.....I would probably have a hard time with an unreliable vendor. I think I would need to learn more about motivating employees. With a family I have learned to better, but not perfectly, leave stress from things like finances out of the interactions with others.

How good are you at making decisions? Small business owners are required to make decisions constantly - often quickly, independently, and under pressure. Not good when it comes to shopping, other than that, I might be a bit slow. I am thinking at the start of a business a lot of any quick decisions would be involved with customers, and I would lean toward good customer service.

Do you have the physical and emotional stamina to run a business? Business ownership can be exciting, but it's also a lot of work. Can you face six or seven 12-hour workdays every week? I am thinking not alone I don't. There is no way I could do the 12 hour workdays with a family at home. I've been thinking a lot about this. This is my main obstruction in my view at this point, maybe if I did this in 5 years when my youngest is in school and had a partner that would do a lot of evening shifts? At least until we could get a reliable employee or two? (remember, small business. I'm really not aiming for wealth)

How well do you plan and organize? Research indicates that poor planning is responsible for most business failures. Good organization of financials, inventory, schedules, and production can help you avoid many pitfalls. I am a good organizer. Esp. of finances and inventory, and I don't think scheduling would be a problem (other than previously mentioned with kids and 12 hour days). What is meant by production? I am not sure that applies to this type of business.

Is your drive strong enough? Running a business can wear you down emotionally. Some business owners burn out quickly from having to carry all the responsibility for the success of their business on their own shoulders. Strong motivation will help you survive slowdowns and periods of burnout. That is why you train good employees.... Seriously though, I understand to some extent the stresses involved. Am I motivated enough? I honestly don't know, I think I would have to give it my best shot.

How will the business affect your family? The first few years of business startup can be hard on family life. It's important for family members to know what to expect and for you to be able to trust that they will support you during this time. There also may be financial difficulties until the business becomes profitable, which could take months or years. You may have to adjust to a lower standard of living or put family assets at risk in the short-term. Yep. Think about this a lot. Financial difficulties are well known to us, familiar ground, so I'm not too worried about that at this point. I was hoping the older children would be interested in helping the family business, but I got a flat out no from Adria. She doesn't think she'd get paid,heh.

Why Small Businesses Fail

Success in business is never automatic. It isn't strictly based on luck - although a little never hurts. It depends primarily on the owner's foresight and organization. Even then, of course, there are no guarantees.

Starting a small business is always risky, and the chance of success is slim. According to the U.S. Small Business Administration, roughly 50% of small businesses fail within the first five years.

In his book Small Business Management, Michael Ames gives the following reasons for small business failure:

Lack of experience damn. (Although stephen has management experience)
Insufficient capital (money) also, damn. (small business loan anyone?)
Poor location I'm hoping near our material-less Wal-mart or near the Dollar Tree would be a good location.
Poor inventory management I think I could be good at this. The biggest thing I can think of now, would be keeping things up to date esp. if we don't get a lot of traffic in the beginning.
Over-investment in fixed assets huh?
Poor credit arrangements help?
Personal use of business funds forewarned. I think the only temptation would be because of financial hardship mentioned above, not to live extravagantly or anything, but if the fridge were empty and someone needed new shoes....that would be hard.
Unexpected growth not expected. heh.

Gustav Berle adds two more reasons in The Do It Yourself Business Book:

Competition of course
Low sales always a possibility

More Reasons Why Small Businesses Fail

These figures aren't meant to scare you, but to prepare you for the rocky path ahead. Underestimating the difficulty of starting a business is one of the biggest obstacles entrepreneurs face. However, success can be yours if you are patient, willing to work hard, and take all the necessary steps.

On the Upside

It's true that there are many reasons not to start your own business. But for the right person, the advantages of business ownership far outweigh the risks.

You will be your own boss. woot!
Hard work and long hours directly benefit you, rather than increasing profits for someone else. nice.
Earning and growth potential are far greater. sweet.
A new venture is as exciting as it is risky. I'm not excited so much as just liking the idea of having this job to do. To dig in and:
Running a business provides endless challenge and opportunities for learning. yep.

see http://www.sba.gov/smallbusinessplanner/plan/getready/SERV_SBPLANNER_ISENTFORU.html

Thanks for listening. Any opinions out there? Maybe I could take business classes for the next five years and hope no one else does it first. Darn. And what about the availability of store locations right now?! Crap.

Where do you start?

2009-08-27T07:04:00.003-06:00

troO.k. everyone, I want to pick your brains.
Syracuse has a lot of empty business realty out here, and I was thinking, it would be awesome if there was a quilt shop right here, so why not be the one to open one?
It could be really cute and have high quality material, maybe yarn too. We could offer classes in piecing and knitting, I know a couple people nearby who machine quilt for people, we could refer people to them. There is a quilt guild in Syracuse, so there are people who would possibly support our business if we do it right.
My question is, where to start? How do you turn this dream into a reality?
Our closest competition would be Sew and Save, JoAnn's and Hancock. JoAnn's is not a comfortable store to shop at near here, they are too small for their mechandise and they are all somewhat far away (as are the other two), so we would have to be competetive and/or very unique, and convenient. Also, I'm thinking we'd have to be very cute.
I guess the first thing to do would be to check out small material and yarn businesses along the wasatch front? Join their 'circle" (for like shop and hops- where we could also offer the nearby tourist attraction of Antelope Island/The Great Salt Lake), and I would want to be online for sure.
I am totally serious! Anyone out there that can help me turn this dream into a reality, before someone else does it here?

Giveaway!

2009-02-17T21:03:00.002-07:00

[I got this from Nikki, who got it from Tye.]

The first five people to respond to this post will get something handmade by me! My choice. For you. This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:

1- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
2- What I create will be just for you.
3- It'll be done this year.
4- You have no clue what it's going to be. But I promise that I will take time to think of something that seems right for me to send you! :)
5- I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch? Oh, the catch is that you must re post this on your blog and offer the same to the first 5 people who do the same on your blog. The first 5 people to do so and leave a comment telling me they did will win a FAB-U-LOUS homemade gift by me! Oh, and be sure to post a picture of what you win when you get it!

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

2008-11-18T12:24:00.003-07:00

That is one sour strawberry!

***picture courtesy of Tanner***

More from Monica's Cupboard

2008-11-05T13:15:00.003-07:00

Back Bean Rice Chili

2 cans black beans, rinsed, drained
1 can diced tomatoes, undrained (if your canned tomatoes are sliced or whole, you can dice them)
1 can corn, undrained
1 can Green Enchilada sauce
2 cups water
1 chicken bullion cube
Cumin (1- 2 tsp maybe, I'm afraid I can't remember, you can do it to taste I am sure)
About 1 cup wild rice (or whatever is left in the bag, white rice will work too I bet)

Combine ingredients into a medium large saucepan and bring to a boil. Reduce heat. Simmer for about 15 minutes, or until rice is tender and children are whining about whether dinner is done yet because it smells so good!

A Tip
I found today that you can replace peanut butter for butter in brownies when you are out of butter and payday is tomorrow, but you have been wanting to make brownies for the last three days and decide it would be fun to experiment anyway. Just add about a Tbs. of milk for 1/2 cup peanut butter. Batter will still be thick. It makes filling, tasty brownies!

While on the Subject of Food and Slim Pickin's

2008-10-29T11:38:00.003-06:00

Today for lunch I opted for noodles (bread takes too long if you wait until you're hungry to start it). But, what to put on them? Well, we had a bit of Italian dressing left, which is pretty good with Parmesan, but we were out of cheese. Not as good. So I tried adding a can of tomatoes (well, 1/2 can since it is just Landon and I) with the dressing (heat until warm). Really Good!

Also another idea recently. Easy Peasy cinnamon rolls. My boys love them. Make a batch of dough for biscuits (whatever is your favorite recipe will work I bet), roll it out, spread with melted butter (whatever it takes, a couple of TBS's maybe) and cinnamon-sugar (2TBS sugar mixed with 1 tsp cinnamon), roll up like cinnamon rolls, cut with a string, bake as directed for biscuits, and top with powdered sugar icing (I used some left from when Adria made cookies, but it would probably only need 1/2 the recipe, if that, although it was convenient to have in the refrigerator to use for a couple of days).

A lesson learned over and over....

2008-10-29T09:33:00.004-06:00

Never sign a contract to buy things like books, Cd's, or videos. Even if they say you may cancel at any time. Although, that does help- a bit. I have had a problem canceling a CD by mail thing before, despite the 'cancel at any time' note. Right now we cannot afford the Book of Mormon videos that we are paying for every other month (for the past two years), and my children don't watch them, and I can't get out of it without paying 1/3 of what I still have left! I don't have 1/3 of anything right now. What was I thinking?

Recipes

2008-10-27T11:24:00.006-06:00

Well I've been living a little lean lately and came up with some recipes based off other recipes depending on what I had on hand. I thought I would share some.

Pizza

1/2 recipe of Janice's Good Bread (makes 2 med. pizza's and 1 loaf, or 4 med pizza's I suppose)

1/2 jar spaghetti sauce

cheese

Make bread dough according to directions. Spread thinly onto pan or cookie sheet in desired pizza shape. Spread with sauce and cover with cheese. [This time I used Monterey Jack and sprinkled it with Parmesan. Because that is what I had.] Bake at 425 degrees for 15 - 20 minutes (maybe longer if you use a cookie sheet, my pizza pans have holes in the bottom).

White Turkey Chili

1 lb. ground turkey, browned (sprinkle with chicken seasoning if you prefer, I did) - this is a lot more affordable than other meat these days, and it is low fat!

1 can corn

2 16 oz cans of Navy Beans (I used Bush's)

2 cups of chicken broth (I used 2 bullion cubes and 2 cups of water)

6 TBS olive oil

1/2 TBS onion powder

6 TBS flour

4 tsp ground cumin

Shredded Monterey Jack Cheese (optional)

Sour Cream (optional)

Salsa (optional)

Brown ground turkey. While it is cooking pour beans, chicken broth, and corn into a medium sauce pan, start heating to bring to a boil. In a separate bowl, mix the oil, flour, and seasonings. Add to sauce pan. Add turkey to the sauce pan. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, and simmer for ten minutes. Garnish with cheese, sour cream, and/or salsa. We just used cheese, really good.

Oh Pooh.

2008-10-13T17:47:00.005-06:00

What a weekend. Starting with being late for scouts, then being stuck at home because I can't find my wallet, and somewhere during the hunt for my wallet I lose my keys (Stephen being out of town with his keys). Not paying attention as Jacob grabs the blender as I go by so that it crashes to the floor in many pieces, and being excited for a dinner somewhat invented on my own only to have biscuits that tasted strongly of baking soda... Anyway, I strangely don't need a nap from depression, but to bring me down a bit. I'm struggling not to feel manic as far as I can tell.

Later....I found my keys! I was able to get a couple of bills paid. And Jacob has his first tooth!

Peanut Butter the Second

2008-10-06T10:46:00.003-06:00

Something to Say

2008-09-29T22:43:00.003-06:00

If they're all wrong. That means I'm right.

By the way, does anyone understand exactly why the stock market affects the economy on down to those of us who sometimes grow our own food? Would putting a lot of money into banks, etc. really help the country, or is it just a band-aid that will be bad for our children in the future? Where is the money coming from? I'd really like to know.
I saw on the news that Citibank is buying out a bank and taking on their debts and in the process taking pay cuts. Cool.
Anyway, I would love some opinions, and more especially, more knowledge on this if anyone knows where to direct me (you know, some really basics to start with, like a picture that shows how these things connect to affect the country - including the little guy).

The First in the Peanut Butter and Jelly Series

2008-09-25T12:43:00.003-06:00

Well, if you have a laptop, I guess you can turn it sideways. I couldn't see a way to turn the video in the applications that I am familiar with. Anyone know how to do that?

Remember when?

2008-09-01T21:07:00.003-06:00

Does this bring an "awww" of remembering to anyone else?

Picture courtesy of http://weewonderfuls.typepad.com/wee_wonderfuls/

Melanie, check this out.

2008-08-27T21:08:00.000-06:00

This is really cute. I came across this blog through Beth's page and noticed they have a Molly too!

Grosgrain: Wandering Waif Collection GIVEAWAY!!!!

PINK

2008-08-21T11:41:00.004-06:00

To Megan in pink.

You know it just hit me how versatile pink is. I remember once someone telling me grey or tan went with everything, but now I would have to say pink. Think about it. Pink and blue are cute. Pink and green, pink and brown, pink and black, pink and purple, pink and red, pink and white, pink and yellow, and pink and grey (or tan). Oh,yes, and in the current Fons&Porter magazine there is the cutest quilt that is pink and orange! It definitely good to be pink!

Ziploc Omelets

2008-08-17T09:31:00.004-06:00

I hope it is o.k. to post this. My mom emailed this (from her friend Janice Reay)to Megan and I, and I love that there are no dirty pans and you don't have to stand over the stove forever. I'm thinking this would be great to use camping too:

This works great!!! Good for when you're alone or when all your family is together. The best feature is that no one has to wait for their special omelet. Have the guests write their name on a Quart Size Ziploc Freezer Bag with a permanent marker.

1. Crack 2 eggs into the quart size Ziploc bag (not more than 2) shake to combine them.

2. Put out a variety of ingredients such as: Cheeses, Ham, Onions, Green Peppers, Tomatoes, Hash Browns, Salsa, Etc.

3. Each guest adds prepared ingredients of choice to their bag and shake the bag to mix them well.

4. Make sure to get the air out of the bag and zip it up.

5. Place the bags into rolling, boiling water for exactly 13 minutes. You can usually cook 6-8 omelets in a large pot. If you have more omelets, make another pot of boiling water.

6. Cut the bags and the omelet will roll out easily. Be pre pared for everyone to be amazed.

7. Nice to serve with fresh fruit and coffee cake; everyone gets involved in the process and it becomes a great conversation activity.
Imagine having these ready the night before, and putting the bag in boiling water while you get ready. And in just 13 minutes you have a nice omelet for a quick breakfast.

Funny

2008-08-14T12:43:00.002-06:00

Today I was getting after Bryce and Landon to rinse their breakfast plates and finally Bryce heads over to the counter and says "Landon, if you don't come rinse your plate I am going to do them both!" Umm. Landon wasn't exactly motivated to do his.

Don't get Mad get Glad

2008-08-09T19:50:00.002-06:00

Man, sometimes that is easier said than done. We've been doing so good, but today the children were literally ignoring anything I asked them to do, and I finally lost it. It is totally something I did to Mom (trying to say I would do it later), but she just did it herself. So although I believe the children need to clean up after themselves, I also believe I need to be stronger and not let the needling get to me. All I know is that is not who I want to be.

Idaho

2008-08-02T12:04:00.002-06:00

I don't have pictures I am afraid. My camera is on the fritz again. I also wrote a thank you note to Jedd and Celeste for our first visit, and never mailed it, so I thought I would try the blog.
So;
Thank You!
We loved our visits to Idaho! Here are the top 10 (not necessarily in this order):
1. Pumpkin muffins with chocolate chips. Mmmmm!
2. Strawberry and apricot syrups
3. Sledding
4. Very good sleep. We were so comfortable both visits. Elisa's room was very welcoming and sweet.
5. A wonderful shower (Micquel brought that to my mind actually, how great that really was).
6. A beautiful waterfall
7. Tubing
8. A chicken coop!
9. Good company
10. A nice breeze..

And so much more, I am sure, my memory isn't always the best! Thanks for setting everything up and allowing us to stay with you!

Cookie recipes for Micquel to try

2008-07-30T22:34:00.003-06:00

So here are the cake mix cookies I told Micquel might work for her:

1 cake mix (any flavor)
1 box of pudding (regular size - some complementing flavor to cake mix, or vanilla)
1/2 c oil
2 eggs
3 TBS water (or juice)

Bake on an ungreased cookie sheet at 350 degrees for 10 to 12 minutes.

OR

(from Adria's friend Cathryn)
---don't use Duncan Hines brand---
1 cake mix
2 eggs
1/3 c oil
1 tsp vanilla

Roll into balls. Bake at 350 degrees for 8 - 10 minutes. Bottoms will be slightly brown and tops will be wrinkled.

Good luck!

What I Learned While Mopping the Floor.

2008-07-14T16:11:00.004-06:00

The other day after I had swept the kitchen and decided I could mop, I headed to the front entry thinking it would be good to do that little square of floor too. On my way there, cheerfully thinking of the pretty shine it would be, I looked down the stairs and felt kind of ornery. They were a mess, why did the kids do this? Then pushing away the discouragement (it made me want to sit down and give up), I thought of how pretty the kitchen floor would be when I was finished and it was all shiny. Do you see? If you look at the mess and that is all you see, it is depressing and discouraging, but if you see the potential, the pretty it will be, it is actually fun and exciting!
You'll See!
"It's all how you look at it." - PBS I think

For me it also helps to pick one thing I can face, even if I start grumpy, and I find as I get moving it's not so bad. (It's kind of like excersize when you haven't done it for a while, you dread the first steps, only to realize you feel better after you've taken them).

So, Which One do You Like Better?

2008-07-08T23:08:00.003-06:00

Also, have any of you seen August Rush? Beautiful movie.

hmmm

2008-07-03T07:18:00.005-06:00

So I realized yesterday, that my closet looks like (forgive me) Stephen's Mother's did the first time I met her. I remember being weirded out by it because she had almost nothing in the rest of the house. My closet got this way because towels and blankets kept piling up in the boys room and I got so tired of wearing them out washing them, I decided they could each use one, and if they wet the bed they could wash it. It isn't working so great, but at least they don't pile up in their room as bad. Also I had them pile toys and garbage and even clothes into garbage bags one day because they were whining about cleaning, and then confiscated them (well, some of them) to my room so they wouldn't end up all over the floor again. Their room is a mess anyway, somehow. I'm working on that though.
I am a little concerned about Bryce. He got up this morning fine, but when his Dad asked about whether his pants were peed (were) he cryed. This really sad cry, and it was really simply stated, and they've all wet their beds before, and we learned with T not to make a big deal about it, so we haven't with Bryce (who doesn't have anywhere near the problem T had), and he kept saying he just wiped them with a rag - also he had a bit of a bloody nose (I think he has a nervous habit where he picks it?) which he hasn't had in a long time. Anyway, his tears didn't fit the situation - if you are a mother I think you would know what I mean. You get to know your childs cries, responses, etc. You know? Probably it was just staying up too late watching a movie, and me getting ornery (don't clean the house after 10:00 at night, it is way too easy to get yourself worked up, eh) about little stupid messes that clean up easily. Although I may not have been totally out of place telling Stephen to help change a light bulb and that the yard needed weeding (however, I didn't do it nicely, which was very wrong of me, sorry).
On another note:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRYCE!

Miscellaneous

2008-07-01T13:16:00.005-06:00

Happy Birthday!

(dang, I should have cropped that cup out of the picture, but I'm not going to do it now, heh)
Adria and I had lots of fun shopping and decorating for her birthday [She did the decorating, actually, but I had fun thinking how fun that is - 8)]. She had most of it in the trailer! Then she and her friends had a blast late into the night.

Onto copying Megan: 8)!

I love the keeping the (flylady) sink shiny thing! My kids have been pretty good about putting their dishes in the dishwasher (not the sink) and if they don't I call them back to do it. No one has complained because they decided they like not doing dirty dishes. Also, I am better about putting pans and such straight into the dishwasher because I like my shiny sink. Stephen gets ornery about it, but he gets ornery about dishes in the sink too, so we'll let it pass. Also, it seems to spread, look at this clean stove top!

Also, I have been loving my morning and bedtime routines! Just a little pampering goes a long way!

2008-06-30T15:53:00.001-06:00

I learned something

2008-06-26T18:53:00.002-06:00

The other night I was struggling with feeling dark, angry, mean, and just keeping hold of myself, but still being kind of rude, I'd have to say. The next morning I woke up still feeling that way. So when Jacob finished nursing before anyone else was up, I stepped outside and just looked at the roses at the front of my house and appreciated how beautiful they were and that feeling ebbed, and I took a breath of that early morning air and remembered how much I love that crips early time, it has it's own new fresh smell, and just appreciated it, and the feeling was gone, and I have been walking pretty high ever since.
It is a lovely feeling. Thank you.

Another blog

2008-06-22T07:01:00.002-06:00

Wish lists and 'photo shopping' on my other blog.
http://buyingwithoutmoney.blogspot.com/

Here is a post I came across that I love. Cracks me up.
http://lightrefreshmentsserved.com/2008/06/19/not-bad-for-a-middle-aged-woman/

Nada

2008-06-16T16:29:00.003-06:00

I just liked this photo so I thought I would share it.

Happy Father's Day!

2008-06-15T17:21:00.010-06:00

So I was working on this a lot yesterday, but between kids (esp. baby), and my own hubby having a Father's Day, I didn't finish it. This is a hodge podge for the two main fathers in my life.

This next video wasn't supposed to have sound affects, but Ammon started practicing some noises while I was video taping. Turned out pretty hilarious.

Great Quote:

2008-06-14T16:55:00.002-06:00

"Sound making, like life, requires a playful, fearless spirit: you have to be willing to look and sound like a moron..." -Fred Newman

Flag Day

2008-06-14T11:45:00.003-06:00

A design that helps lead a nation.
Thanks for our freedom.

Hopefully we can uphold the values that make us the U.S.

and continue to improve, not self-destruct.

So maybe a milk allergy?

2008-06-13T15:05:00.003-06:00

Well, I had read about what foods to avoid to help gassy/fussy babies, one of them being dairy. I went without milk products for a couple of days and he did a lot better, still a bit gassy but not so it bothered him as much. Then yesterday I had pizza because I was so darn hungry (I never realized before how much of my diet is dairy - yogurt, cheese tortillas, grilled cheese, cereal, oatmeal, pizza, pasta sauces, ice cream...you get the idea), and last night he had a harder time again. He didn't cry for hours or anything colicky like that, but he was in pain and crying a lot worse until he got over some gas, then today he has had a bit of a hard time breathing. Yes that has happened before, but it would, so I was thinking, 'what, are we going to have our first case of asthma'? Then he had no problems for a couple of days, and lo and behold, today, after pizza, he has a problem (so his chest sucks in when he is trying to breathe, scary). I also had read, in that same magazine that this is one reaction to dairy when there is an allergy - not lactose intolerance, that is different.
Is there some way to test for this to see if I am right? I will have to look that up I guess.
Also, I've had some terrible back pain for about a week so that I couldn't stand up straight (picture an old lady, my entire upper body had to be bent forward with a deep bend in my legs and my right hip seemed off somehow), but today for an entire oh, half hour being up and about making some non-dairy sopapillas- because we are out of bread and eggs and I had to have something for breakfast- I didn't think once about walking funny, or about my aching back. I think it is working out. If I lay flat and am off of it for a while it improves immensely -for a while- so it has a lot to do with having no abdominal muscles and carrying a baby around I'm sure.

And a photo. Adria made this today- all her own idea and effort. Pretty cute!

Finally Here's Some Jacob - He's already 1 month old!

2008-06-11T13:04:00.003-06:00

Tanner had a birthday!

2008-06-09T18:09:00.001-06:00

I'm Blue- baba be baba boo

2008-06-03T08:15:00.004-06:00

I feel better just writing that. Interesting.
Well, a lot of random embarrassing negativity follows so if you want to skip down to the positive note, please do.
Anyway, last night, the thought went through my head "she broke her heart", and not knowing who it referred to or where it came from, I cried and cried, and assumed I was the 'bad guy', and I keep thinking I've done something that estranged Adria that I can't seem to get right, even though she doesn't act that way. Then the thought came that "she's ruining him, he was going to be president", and the same thing, not knowing what the heck it was all about I was depressed and knew I was the bad guy. So this morning (can you call it morning when you only sleep two hours the first half, and two hours (broken) the last half?) I got up convinced I am the bad guy and no matter what anyone does to help I am going to ruin something no matter what I do, and maybe it would fix everything if I just die. { I also keep having this recurring thought that "she's going to get cancer and die" and I continually worry about who that is although I usually talk myself out of it and say it will be more like sleeping beauty and she'll (whoever she is) just sleep for a while not die.}

Don't worry, I don't literally have a death wish, I am just insane at the moment and hoping it is just baby blues or even postpartum depression. I can't leave the baby with Stephen when Jacob is crying because I am insane, but then when he finally sleeps I don't want to sleep anymore to the point I can't sleep, and strangely I feel guilty just thinking about sleeping right now. But really I feel better just saying so, and less sleepy and less emotional. I am a little worried about when Jacob wakes up though, and now I am crying again. I know what to expect with this postpartum stuff really, but it still floors me sometimes. Stephen keeps trying to get me to go see a movie with Adria and it is one I thought I wanted to see, but when it comes down to it I don't want to go anywhere. I can't win. Then another day I am up and out of the house shopping for baby stuff and groceries and it is a good happy day.

Sunday was really hard first thing in the morning, and I wanted to go to Mom's, then the rest of the day was really nice and I enjoyed staying home even, so when the kids wanted to go to Mom's I didn't feel like we needed to go anymore. Maybe today will be similar. Ammon is missing Grayson, though. He was really bored Sunday. Now that Mom and Dad have the pool, once it is up and running I thought it might be nice to live closer and take advantage of their back yard a lot because we can't afford gas to go there as often. I am tempted to do like a friend told me once, and pay credit cards with credit cards....but that would just keep the vicious circle going I know. I keep thinking there must be something I can do at home while he sleeps (I can work a computer and hold him at the same time if that is the only way he will sleep), but I have a hard time knowing what are legitimate businesses to try at home. Like some data entry or something. And a lot of them I looked at online require money for training or a web site or whatever. Where would I get that? I am way too afraid of using borrowed money because if it doesn't work out or isn't legitimate we will be even worse off. Also, I worry that we would just use what I make to justify more debt, although, perhaps it wouldn't be as bad if it were something I could do at home whenever I was able, rather than running on someone else's schedule, and stressing about leaving the kids or just not seeing the older ones much if I worked when Stephen was home - after school. Maybe I could sell (sale?) baby quilts. I have made two of my own design for gifts that were well received, and they sew up pretty fast. I don't know. Maybe there isn't a market for that anyway. We are thinking of trying to sell the boat and quad and trailer, but the chances seem slim because of gas prices....maybe that is just our excuse, although we really are ready to sell the boat I think.

Last night I told Tanner he couldn't go to lagoon with a friend for his birthday like we planned, and he was so sad, but not demanding or anything. He is such a sweetheart. Then this morning I decided we would just use a credit card anyway. We have got to stop that though, because we really can't afford more debt, you know.

Anyway, sorry, everyone has their financial woes - or if not, some other kind - so sorry for unloading.

On a positive note:

Our basement is coming along. Stephen got sheet rock up in Adria's room except for the closet and two walls and most of the ceiling in the family room in the basement. So that is exciting. Adria is out of school so that is cool. All of the children are doing really well in school and are healthy (but often looking tired too, I'm afraid), and have some good friends. We have power, hot water and beautiful roses and food, and the Internet to vent through.

Oh! And what fun, Landon has learned to ride a two wheeler! It is so cute to seem him ride on the tiny little bike. I have to tell you the story. Saturday Landon comes in and says "Mom, do you know about bikes?" And I look at him "What about them?", "DO YOU KNOW ABOUT BIKES?", "I know, I mean what about bikes?" , "Well I was riding my bike but I keep falling over, so do you know about bikes?", "Falling over? Oh, you mean you are trying to ride a two wheeler?" , "Yes. Can you teach me about bikes?" Ammon ended up teaching him. He's the one that taught Tanner too. Bryce is motivated now too, and he is persevering despite the fact Landon learned it faster. Here is a video. Sorry it is dark and grainy - cloudy day, one handed, and limited experience with my camera on this setting....

In the News - Sheesh!

2008-06-02T18:30:00.003-06:00

An eight year old girl's intestines were damaged from eating Magnetix magnets and balls, and the parents want the toys taken off the shelves.
WHAT THE CRAP?
Their eight year old needs psychological help and/or vitamin deficiency testing. An eight year old?!! All the kids I know that age who are "normal" wouldn't swallow something like this (she had 30 pieces inside, so it's not like she was playing with one haphazardly in her mouth and accidentally swallowed). By this age they even know not to put something like that in their mouths because they might choke - they still might, but they would know better. 30 pieces though? Sheesh. We really like this learning toy and have had no problems with a 4 year old, 8 year old, and 11 year old, playing with them -other than leaving them all over the house. Maybe that's it - perhaps the parents forced her to eat them whenever they found them around the house? Once again, SHEESH.

New Arrival

2008-05-22T11:53:00.002-06:00

So most of you, if not all of you, know we have a little boy. He's two weeks old now. His name is Jacob Emeron Riley. Jake to some already. Jacob Emerson to Social Security - someone messed up. I wish I could post a picture, but my camera seems to have broken itself. Stephen swears he won't buy me another one.
[Maybe I can use the memory card in the printer and access the pictures that way? Ill have to try it. ]

Have you heard of this?

2008-05-07T12:07:00.003-06:00

http://utahsown.utah.gov/CommunitySupportedAgriculture.htm

This is a program where you pay for weekly produce at the beginning of the season and pick it up every week. Anyway, I am kind of interested and wonder what you think?
The farm in West Point is closest to me and is less expensive than Zoe's Garden. I like the info. and presentation from Zoe's Garden - and it's organic- but it is way more expensive. However, they do deliver to Provo. The Kaysville website wasn't impressive, and pick up seemed more inconvenient.

2008-04-16T11:02:00.001-06:00

Everyone note Cathies new blog. I edited my link so you can get there!

Good deals

2008-04-10T17:59:00.003-06:00

I am having great fun matching sales with manufacturers coupons. One of my favorite today: two packs of gum for $0.04. I walked out of the store smiling with surprise and excitement. Albertson's had Extra gum buy one get one free (I only noticed on my way out) and I had a coupon for buy on get one free! It seemed too good to be true, but it worked out just fine! Anyway, I like to look through ads and keep them around and never use them, so this has been fun actually cutting them out and using a lot of them for better deals than I knew there were. Thanks to Celeste!

***note: Shopko had something similar with a buy a toothbrush get a toothpaste free, and they wouldn't honor my manufacturers coupon.

Hungry hungry hippo

2008-04-08T13:11:00.003-06:00

The last two days I have been starving! I don't know what hit me, but about the same time each day I could eat a horse. Seriously. Yesterday I felt weak with hunger even, it's so crazy, so we (Landon and I, then Stephen called as we were leaving so he met us there) went to a buffet and filled ourselves to the top. It was amazing how much better I felt. I didn't get hungry the rest of the night except for a twinge of sick feeling which went away with an ice cream bar.
Today we used a coupon for a buy one get one free burger (I ate the little bit of left over 'lasagna skillet', from the kids dinner last night, and jello w/fruit first - insufficient), and I still feel unsatisfied. At least I don't feel as weak as yesterday.
I think I am going to get a lot of the nutty granola bars when they go on sale at Albertson's(tomorrow, but I have to wait until payday Thurs.), maybe that will help. Perhaps hot pockets as well. It seems to be hard to keep fulfilling lunch food in the house.
Anyway, here's to full tummies and pantries.
Have a good one!

Feelings - I know sounds corny, makes me think of that song....

2008-03-17T07:44:00.003-06:00

Just wanted to clarify.

I have been looking forward to having this baby. Every now and then some things that are hard about babies come to mind, but I wouldn't change things now for the world.

This morning I want this baby so bad it is kind of crazy. It is good whether it is a boy or a girl. I am so glad I will be home with a baby again, I am in no rush to get a job, I just was thinking that way because Landon is growing up and money is always tight, but Stephen is working on that.

Yesterday was a wonderful, light, sort of day. I really enjoyed the visit at my parents. Even though I haven't been going to church, it has felt better lately and I haven't been fighting it-yesterday I really didn't feel like I needed to go, but it wasn't the same dread or even inability I had had about going before that.

Today I feel like I have a lot of tears, but I'm not necessarily sad. I feel kind of afraid, but of nothing specific. Maybe it is more worried. As a result I kind of hurt physically, but again it's not specific. Spiritual things bring it up a bit more, but primary songs only did a bit yesterday so I could let the children have them on. Christmas music still hurts somehow. I am o.k. with it, I just don't want to hear it - I am not into self-torture, really.

I really enjoyed doing puzzles the past couple of days. I like video games. I haven't been liking dishes and laundry at all, but I didn't mind doing them yesterday. I like to crochet with really soft yarn. I haven't been liking cooking again, but I have been cooking when I can think of something to make that doesn't sound too bad or hard. I like the house clean, but it doesn't tear me up when it's dirty for a while, until it does and then I enlist all the kids to help, sometimes with a temper, sometimes without.

I get hungry, but nothing sounds good- I will eat if something is there that doesn't take too long or too much imagination. I can't eat ramen noodles (not a big loss I am sure) and I have a hard time facing peanut butter and jelly, but once I start eating it I don't mind it.

I love my family.

Lando Said

2007-11-27T13:10:00.000-07:00

"I wonder how the baby comes outta your tummy because your mouth is too small."

Test for your candidate

2007-11-12T08:53:00.000-07:00

http://www.wqad.com/Global/link.asp?L=259460
It appears to match you to 'your candidate' by both stance and importance. Kinda cool.

Hodge Podge

2007-11-09T08:35:00.000-07:00

The weather has been beautiful, and Ammon has pretty much single handidly been getting us outside to enjoy it. We've had fun playing Frisbee, throwing the football around, playing in the leaves, and, yesterday, they were burying each other up to the neck in the sand.
I've been feeling better, I still get sick if I eat the wrong thing, but mostly, if I don't eat too much and get outside some I do pretty good. Some smells still get to me, but my entire house doesn't smell so much. I have been feeling less negative about being pregnant again too. It's just with Landon still peeing on the couch now and then, etc. I just am not sure what we were thinking? Obviously we weren't. Anyway, I saw a cute tiny pair of boots at the store the other day and was able to think of them as so cute and not be worried over the little lifetime added to our family, and looking through baby magazines sometimes helped -sometimes added to my negativity. But really things are looking up.
The boys all left late last night for California. It is kinda quiet around here with Adria at school. She wants to have a sleep over tonight, but what am I going to do next week? I used to quilt or piece, knit or crochet, read, scrapbook, exercise, bake, or clean, but nothing draws me anymore (the thought of some things even makes me physically sick sometimes), I think I will try some of this anyway, it may be one of those 'once I get started I'm hooked' things, it's just getting started.
There is always shopping for maternity clothes. I read about a knit band that fits around your current pants so you can wear them unbuttoned until you grow into actual maternity clothes, do you know where you find those? Not with the maternity clothes at Target anyway. Maybe I'll check online.

It's Official!

2007-10-23T10:35:00.000-06:00

We're due May 15, 2007

The Quiz

2007-10-11T13:43:00.000-06:00

I finally took the quiz (I've been ill for about two weeks straight - blah)! Here I am:

Take the Quiz here!

Preschool

2007-09-17T21:20:00.000-06:00

http://www.first-school.ws/theme/shapes.htm
Today I was looking for something to do with Landon and came across this website. I really like it. You can get as involved as you like, or not. For example we were looking for activities with shapes and one had a Xylophone to make with rectangles (glueing is always fun); you could listen to a xylophone, see a picture of a real one, learn the letter X, and learn your colors. We were thinking of doing circles tomorrow by making a centipede, and the letter C, and colors and numbers and a link to see a real one and learn more about it. Pretty cool I thought.

I'll take Smellie's tag

2007-09-14T15:36:00.000-06:00

I felt tagged when I read her blog, but avoided it - all the while feeling guilty. So here it goes (I'm in the mood to do it today!):

Jobs I've held:

1. Inventory at Standard Office Supply
2. Carousel Ice Cream Parlor (scooped ice cream, cleaned out freezers and refrigerators and a 'trailer', worked at the register, and lastly, but short lived, as a waitress).
3. Best Products (stocking, checking for items that seemed to be missing,janitor)
4. T.J Max (short lived)
5. Counting competitors customers for Future Shop (on the side, cash paid)
6. Day Care (unofficially in my home)
7. Mother

Movies I can watch over and over:

I have a harder time with this these days, but I used to watch:
1.The Man from Snowy River
2. Lord of the rings
3.Lady Hawk
4.Shrek
5. Yesterday I watched While You Were Sleeping (and really enjoyed it)
6.I was wanting to watch Labrynth there for a while
I'm sure there are a lot more, what I want to watch changes a lot with my mood, and subliminal messages I'm sure.

Places I have lived:

1.Sandy UT
2.Provo UT
3.Price UT (a summer - or was that shortened to weeks? I can't remeber)
4. Missoula MT (twice with a year in between I think)
5. Orem UT (as above ")
6.Helena MT
7. Layton UT
8. Syracuse UT

Shows I enjoy:

I don't watch t.v. at all really, but I still really like Sienfield (I think I want the 'boxed set' :) ), and I've watched Myth Busters with the kids a few times, I kinda like that, and I have liked Funniest Home Videos, but never remember to watch it.

Places I have been for vacation:

1. Yellowstone
2. Glacier National Park
4. California (Many different places here- but not Disney Land!)
5. Calgary Canada (High School Band trip)
6. Chicago, Elgin, and Indian - mostly work, but some play
7. Idaho
8. Most of those Southern UT places except Lake Powell, and many Northern UT places too.

Favorite Foods:

I like so many it is hard to pick favorites, but these are things I can think of at this moment that I may often choose:
1. Stuffed mushrooms at Olive Garden
2. Homemade cookies
3. Desserts
4.Trying new foods that look good
5.Southwest taco things from either Applebees or Chili's- I can't remember which.
6. Wendy's Chocolate Shakes

Websites I visit:

1. blogs (mostly family, a few others now and then)
2. news
3. whatever I am interested in links I can find (at that moment, and may never revisit despite setting as a favorite)

No nicknames - not too my face anyway. Who knows what others may have thought up. I think I overheard someone referring to me as 'earwax person' before. My immediate family may know why I thought they were probably talking about me....

Tag to:

1.Dal
2.Megan
3. Tye
unless you really abhore the idea, then please don't do it.

Them Kids!

2007-09-12T19:01:00.001-06:00

So yesterday (or so) I played hide and seek with Landon. I dragged my feet at first, I admit, but we were both bored. It was so much fun! He just doesn't get it entirely, so he would tell me, "I'm going to hide here." Before I ever started counting. Then when he counts he goes really fast (and it just hit me, I think he was counting correctly to 10. I don't think he could do that on pupose?), then he yells, "Mom! Mom! Moooom!", until I answer or knock on something so he can find me. Then we would just laugh and laugh. Aaaah. What a cutie.

Tanner is standing on the bench in the kitchen and says, "to the republic of witches stand." I laugh and he says, "what, I don't know what it means really. Witches stand, what does that mean?"

Ha, ha, ha!

Oh, and Bryce is the master procrastinator, distract Mom-er, and/or just wait until she forgets-er. Wait -maybe that is all of them except Landon - not old enough yet maybe.

By the way, have any of you read Eclipse yet? The third in the Twilight series? Pretty good, but boy, I cried buckets, and it leaves you hanging with the tears in the end! That next book better get here quick.

I Backed the Trailer in!

2007-06-28T09:59:00.001-06:00

Yep. Stephen out of town, the truck at the shop until this morning, the trailer tire flat, and the threat of a ticket if it wasn't moved.

I called (!) to see if the truck was done, picked it up (all while Ammon used the air compresser to pump up the trailer tire as a temporary measure), Adria and Ammon backed me into the hitch, and Ammon and Tanner helped me back into the driveway. No stress. It isn't straight, but works, and I figure with some practice it could be straighter. Admittedly Stephen asked about whether I jack-knifed the truck, and I may have, but there was no damage to his bumper which he said was why that shouldn't be done, so I learned something knew.

Anyway, I am feeling kind of empowered at the moment.

Book recommendation :

Stick through it, you'll see what I mean.

Celebrate!

2007-04-27T15:35:00.000-06:00

So it's been a long time since I've posted, eh. For some reason it hadn't crossed my mind for a while. I was escaping reality in books and only doing what was completely necessary for a little while, and enjoyed it immensely. I have two more books from the library, but the weather is so nice all I want to do is anything but the norm (don't worry I recently cleaned bathrooms and I did the dishes every day - not that once a day is enough to keep up on them). Anyway, the last couple of days I've been feeling sleepy and once again extremely introverted, but not really. I'm turning to food and shopping a lot (who me, crazy I know - not really extreme shopping mind you, but little piddly stuff that adds up and you wonder where it all went kind of shopping). I really need some more will power to exercise. I keep turning myself down.
Anyway, the title of this post refers to what I planned to post because I thought I had nothing to say, and there is reason to celebrate!

Happy Birthday!

Bryant

Braden

Dal

Mark

Happy Anniversary!

Smelly and Ryan

Good weather with children playing a lot outside (no t.v. week next week with the school, which means a little back up in the parent corner when trying to redirect).

I want to go play, I just don't know what, so long as it is going and doing something in some part outdoors (even just driving with the windows down, I'm sometimes not too picky). Hope all of your days match the sunny weather!

Another good thing

2007-04-12T15:53:00.000-06:00

So Adria told me this was a great book, and she usually has good taste, but the title threw me a bit, so it took me a while to get around to reading it. Excellent, though. Enjoyable and uplifting.
Here is a quote from the beginning that I like:

At first Miss Heliotrope's love for Maria had been somewhat forced. She had made and mended her clothes with grim determination and with a rather distressing lack of imagination, and however naughty she was had applied the cane only very sparingly, being more concerned with winning the child;s affection than with the welfare of her immortal soul. But gradually all that had changed. Her tenderness, when Maria was in any way afflicted, had become eager; the child's clothes had been a work of art' and she herself had been whipped for her peccadilloes within an inch of her life, Miss Heliotrope caring now not tow hoots whether Maria like her or not, if only she could make of the child a fine and noble woman.
This is true love and Maria had known it' and even when her behind had been so sore that she could scarcely sit upon it, her affection for Miss Heliotrope had been no whit abated. And now that she was no longer a child but a young lady in her teens, it was the best thing in her life.

Better Late than Never

2007-04-05T15:35:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday Kevin and Grayson!

You know, I had a friend telling me the other day that she hates March. Every March something bad happens. I believe one March her husband lost his job and this March her son was diagnosed with diabetes. Man that stinks. I like March. It gives you the first hope of spring, and it is full of birthdays and anniversaries, I hope her Marches change!

Blast from the past

2007-03-20T11:21:00.000-06:00

It's funny because the theme for Young Women's camp in out stake this year is Keepers of the Light and last year or so - time seems to be confused in my mind - this came to my mind. I understand there is CD called this also, I'm going to have to get it and see....

Keepers of the light.
Each one unique, we give to others who seek,
something no one else can give.
With joy we can live, what peace we can give,
To share any way we can,
As keepers of the light.
We may never know the affect we
have had on others looking for the light,
But it matters not for we follow the Lord
As keepers of the Light.

Talking of Books

2007-03-10T16:18:00.000-07:00

So how many of you have already read this one? I know it is an author you know. Anyway, I really enjoyed it! It took me less than a day (with many interruptions to boot). Quick, good read. I want to read it again already! I may just have to start collecting her books.
Have you heard of any of a series called "Little Fur"? Adria has checked out a couple from school but I didn't get the chance to read them. I started the first one, but she had to return it before I got very far. Started out good though, not to mention the wonderful fuzzy cover.

Another Change

2007-03-07T12:10:00.000-07:00

So when I changed the backgroung I thought I could just change it back. Nope. Can't figure that out.
I tried to change the colors but there was a 'page error'. Maybe I am just doing that wrong too. Anyway, it is going to be pea green for a while yet I guess...

Oh, and hooray for a new camera! I just might have to try the picture button again!

To Chang My Mind

2007-03-06T09:58:00.000-07:00

I just wrote a whining post about money and medical bills and by the time I was through I mostly saw how I am an idiot and can't manage much. So to change my mind, I decided to list some more things I am thankful for.

I am thankful our house payment actually went down this year by almost forty dollars.
For my children being so healthy and smart.
For my wonderful childhood and extended families.
For the dear people who shared goodies and love for my birthday.
For a working dishwasher, heater, refrigerator, stove, and computer.
For those medical people who are patient with receiving payments from us. We do do our best.
For my mind being more clear.
For the scriptures.
For Landon's company throughout the day.
For good teachers at the elementary, and at church.
For sunshine, rain, and snowy.
For yummy food, and healthy food, we really have a bounty.
For exercise.
For hope and forgiveness.
For another day to keep trying.
For Mother's example.
For money not being what life is all about.
For looking forward to spending time with family (Manti pageant coming up for example, woot!)
For the hope that I can grow and change even though I still seem such a child in some things.
For the chastisement I felt from others that helps me see what I need to do better on.
For so many enjoyable things to do while I wait to 'meet my children at the crossroads'.
For being able to put things aside more readily (not perfectly) to attend to my children.
For living so close to family.
For living in Utah.
For being able to stay home so much.
For being able to get out so much.
For being free of stuff (can you believe what a burden it is to love things?).
For a basement that we can expand to fit everyone when we are able.
For being able to see my children grow and change, and even lead me.

Books and junk

2007-03-01T14:24:00.000-07:00

I've put some of the books that were recommended on hold. I can't wait to open one up. For now Ammon has lent me his books Magyk and Flyte. Pretty good. I would like to get a hold of the second book to Leven Thumps again, but it might have to wait now I have all these others coming in. I'll do Enna Burning next. Oh, and I never knew there were sequels to The Giver! Great book I'll have to look them up too.....
Ah, not enough time in a day.

I'm in love with yoga all over again. My new favorite relax pose is the crocodile pose. My sides are a bit sore from twisting today. Somehow yoga both relaxes and energizes.

I sure am thankful for Landon today. It was great fun chasing him around and doing jumping jacks with him, and racing up and down the stairs. Lots of fun that is funny. Whatever will I do when he's in school? The last few days I've actually been cleaning in the mornings like I used to (Monday kind of stinks), and have been basically done by 11:00 am. Wonder if there is such a shift somewhere as 12:00-3:00? Maybe school is still on the horizon. Still have 2 1/2 years to go though. I might break down and put Landon in preschool next year to stave off boredom. We'll see.

This may be an odd post

2007-02-21T19:07:00.000-07:00

This has been an interesting week. Just the other night I woke up feeling like many memories had just washed over me. My entire body jumpy with joy and tickled almost as I lay remembering and trying to relax. Funny how I felt I was being returned to me. In bits and pieces. Things I had forgotten that I hadn't realized I had forgotten. Like doing funny arm motions in front of the big living room window with friends (Debbie?) and Megan. The feeling it was to visit the Palmers in the summer, how Dixon Middle School felt to me, sleeping over at Emily and Debbie's houses and the different feeling and smells there. I can't remember Debbie's face for some reason though, and feel like I need to. A vague thought of darkness locked in their outdoor cellar and a darkness standing outside my basement bedroom door that didn't come in - that time. How different people feel different to me, but also similar. Families especially having somethings similar throughout them. Most clearly our extended families.
I feel like I keep coming in and out of focus, but I am hanging on to focused with all my might.
Wanting peace, not itchy unsatisfaction.
Seeing one inside another.
Seeing myself in others, feeling others in me.
Knowing myself better, not wanting to lose me again.
Trying to figure out which 'voice' to follow, but also knowing which 'voice' to follow, or hoping I'm right.
Not strong enough yet, but not giving in.
Hanging on for dear life, but not to this life.

Habit free for two months now! I have been feeling a pull to do it lately, but it has been denied. Keep on truckin' eh?

Thank you to all of you.

By the way, I thought this book looked promising, I haven't read it yet, but it might be good.
Recommended reading, Parent University, Davis School District: "Unconditional Parenting
Most advice for parents begins with the question 'How can we get kids to do what they're told?' - and then proceeds to offer various techniques for controlling them. In his landmark book Unconditional Parenting, Alfie Kohn begins instead by asking 'What are our long-term goals for our children?' It follows that we need to work with them rather than doing things to them, in order to reach those goals.

Kohn argues that punishments (including time-outs) and rewards (including positive reinforcement) may sometimes produce temporary compliance, but they do nothing to help kids grow into responsible, caring, ethical, happy people. Moreover, he suggests that permissiveness is less worrisome than a fear of permissiveness that leads us to over-control our children. Kohn concludes with ten important guidelines to help viewers reconnect to their own best instincts as parents."

2007-02-14T19:20:00.000-07:00

HAPPY VALENTINES EVERYONE!

Hope it was enjoyable.

Landon and I made sugar cookies and painted cards for the family, and when everyone got home we got to hear about the fun they had at school. Stephen and I went to Cafe Rio for an early dinner - I am still stuffed. I have yet to figure out the kids dinner. Better get crackin'.

Looking for Roses Amidst Thorns?

2007-02-06T19:19:00.000-07:00

It doesn't matter that I can't get the picture button to work anymore! I may have lost my camera in Chicago. The last time I remember having it was in the car on the way from Elgin, Stephen went through the rental car before he turned it in today, so all I can think is that it fell out of my purse. I hadn't looked for it again because the batteries were dead (huh? I checked them before we left) and thought I had repacked it in the bottom of my travel bag.
Really, really, big bummer.
But, hey, I don't have to worry about downloading anything for a while!

Happy Birthdays!!!

2007-01-31T19:48:00.000-07:00

Landon, Elisa, Ammon!

(in that order)

Roses aren't green,

Violets aren't too,

From all that you've seen,

Hope this birthday ranks two!

(well one doesn't rhyme with too)

Yep, got it in one. I still can't get pictures to work.

For Now...

2007-01-27T16:21:00.000-07:00

...I have discovered I like:

mints (especially Jr. mints)- I want to try the chocolate mints I've seen in along the checkout lines, haven't yet though.
vanilla mint splash Trident
Blistex lip infusion (vanilla or cherry)
Hoof ready to grow polish (for weak nails-works great)
belgian chocolates (I think they were truffles)
Southern Candy Makers Dark Chocolate Mississippi Mud (second only to the aforementioned)- Stephen brought some back from New Orleans with him.
Bath&Body works lotions - right now I'm loving plumeria and pink grapefruit 'flavors'.
being interested in things (for example looking up what exactly a benign tubular adenoma with focal sclerosing adenosis is)- thus the Internet too.
good frozen foods (we liked the last Banquet chicken crock pot classic we tried, and stir fry mixes, for example).
baking bread (I've got to keep trying with the rolls, however, my last batch was too big so it took longer to cook, and they looked funny)

What the?

2007-01-26T18:36:00.000-07:00

So someone once said we were going one place, but after I arranged for babysitting it was another. Fine, it was work related right? Well then we're going Thursday, so I say that should work with the people I asked, and the next breath it's he won't go, then, until the next Monday? Wha-? What kind of games are we playing here?

Hooray Another Birthday!

2007-01-23T10:29:00.000-07:00

Well, dagnabbit. My image button isn't working today. So no picture. Here is a poem that was kind of cool. Not too birthday like I'm afraid. Birth, death, it all goes hand in hand right?

Happy Birthday Mindy!

Spoken From the Hedgerows
by Jorie Graham

To bring back a time and place.
A feeling. As in "we are all in this
together." Or "the United States and her allies

fought for Freedom." To bring back.
The experience of killing and getting killed.
Get missed. Get hit. Sun—is it with us. Holiday,

are you with us on this beach today.
Hemisphere of one, my soul, paratrooper,
greatness I house in my body, deepset, my

hands on these triggers—who once could outrun
his brother—consumed with fellow-feeling like a madness that does not
must not,
lower its pitch—going to the meeting place,

the spire of the church in Vierville, seen on aerial maps, visible from
eighteen miles out,
if it weren't for fog, and smoke, and groundmist,
the meeting place, the appointed time surging in me,

needing to be pierced—but not me—not me—

only those to the left and right of me—

permit me to let you see me—

Me. Driven half mad but still in biography.
By the shared misery of. Hatred. Training. Trust. Fear.
Listening to the chatter each night of those who survived the day.

There is no other human relationship like it.
At its heart comradeship is an ecstasy.
You will die for an other. You will not consider it a personal

loss. Private Kurt Gabel, 513 Parachute Infantry Regiment—
"The three of us Jake, Joe and I became an entity.
An entity—never to be relinquished, never to be

repeated. An entity is where a man literally insists
on going hungry for another. A man insists on dying for
an other. Protect. Bail out. No regard to

consequence. A mystical concoction." A last piece
of bread. And gladly. You must understand what is meant by
gladly. All armies throughout history have tried

to create this bond among their men. Few succeeded as well
as the paratroop infantry of the U.S. Army,
Rifle Company E, 506th.

Fussell: It can't happen to me. It can happen to me. It is
going to happen to me. Nothing
is going to prevent it.

Webster (to his parents): I am living on borrowed time—
I do not think I shall live through the next jump.
If I don't come back, try not to take it too hard.

I wish I could persuade you to regard death
as casually as we do over here. In the heat of it
you expect it, you are expecting it, you are not surprised

by anything anymore, not surprised when your friend
is machine-gunned in the face. It's not like your life, at home,
where death is so unexpected. (And to mother):

would you prefer for someone else's son to die in the mud?
And there is no way out short of the end of war or the loss
of limb. Any other wound is patched up and you're sent back

to the front. This wound which almost killed him
healed up as well and he went back.
He never volunteered. One cannot volunteer.

If death comes, friend, let it come quick.
And don't play the hero, there is no past or future. Don't play
the hero. Ok. Let's go. Move out. Say goodbye.

(attributed to this sight)

Noted

2007-01-11T16:24:00.000-07:00

Today I discovered that sugar pears smell like Grandma Walker (or vice versa - uh, spell check suggested verse?). In fact, I found eating them took me back to how it felt to be around the extended Walker family as a child. Neat.

Wahoooooooooo!

2007-01-10T07:52:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Jedd!

-I just realized most of your family starts the new year off at a new age too- kinda cool.

Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha,!

2007-01-09T09:04:00.000-07:00

The other day Adria was talking about a boy in her class that will be getting the priesthood. Ammon then turns and asks me, "Is that the ironic priesthood?"

Happy Belated!

2007-01-08T18:26:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Natalie and Candace!

Hope it was turtle-ific....uh, o.k., it's a stretch, work with me here.

Welcoming in the New Year with One Week of Success with an Unofficial Resolution

2007-01-05T16:45:00.000-07:00

So my resolution wasn't consciously made for this year, but it's been working none the less.
Many of you know my embarrassing habit that I picked up again, oh, a year or so ago. Anyway, I've been trying to quit for a while, and have finally been free of it for a week. It may have been longer, but I haven't really been keeping track, so officially I am sure it has been at least a week!
A big help - Ammon saying smokers use the "I KNOW I can do it" mantra (is that the right word, it sounds right), drinking lots of water, and finding something to do (usually with the help of my family). Oh, and food of course, especially anything labeled as snack or fat food (I will endeavor to avoid creating that habit any more than it already is, however).

Thanks everyone.

Now, for the next week...

**Hey, spell check on the new blogger is way cooler!**

By the way, if anyone comes across a pillowcase - blue with yellow stars - I made that for Ammon, and it matches his soon to be finished quilt - please let me know. It mysteriously disappeared not long after he opened it (a few days late because I had forgotten about it already wrapped, up in my closet). Grrrr. Thanks a ton. heh.

Hooray, Snow!

2007-01-04T18:14:00.000-07:00

Sorry about the mostly foggy pictures. I later discovered my lense was very dirty.

Belated

2007-01-02T11:07:00.000-07:00

So I'm late again, but this year I'll do better. I'm sure. I, uh, hope.

Happy Birthday Megan!

Hope it was full of laughter and light. Hope today is too.
Love you.

"What is it?", you may ask. Gum. A very, very large wad of gum.

By the Way

2006-12-23T13:59:00.000-07:00

We got a call that someone was worried about our Christmas, so I wanted to assure [maybe it was because of a previous post?] that all is well. We waited until Tuesday to start because Stephen was waiting on a bonus. So I was on pins and needles. But it came. We conquered. In fact, I'm done, and Stephen is out finishing up what he wants to do. It wasn't as bad last minute as I thought it would be either.
Thank you so much for looking out for us.
Lots of love,
Riley's

Does that Really Happen?

2006-12-21T12:44:00.000-07:00

I didn't think so. Until I did it. I had some MS clean up, so I left them in the sink and turned the water on, went into the other room and promptly forgot. My bathroom had a half inch of water on most of the floor, in the cupboard under the sink and across the entire counter before I came back to it, thinking of course, when I heard the water running, that Landon had left it on after I wiped his bottom a little while before. Nope.

I couldn't leave a comment on Melanie's blog because I am on the new one and she's not I think. I switched only because when I went to post on Megan's blog I couldn't without the new version. Anyway, Melanie, hooray for English Toffee and Peanut Brittle (yes they require capitalization), and, actually, for K'nex too!

added later: It's almost unbelievable. Tonight when I went to put the pickles away I didn't have the lid on tight and tipped it over as I set it in the fridge. Pickle juice everywhere. Oh, and when I emptied the shelf to clean it? I dropped a yogurt and, yes, it split open on the floor. Sheesh. What's a girl gonna do with a two year old if she is still one herself?

Food from Thought (and lazy necessity)

2006-12-15T12:28:00.000-07:00

Monica's chicken pot pie

2 frozen single crust, deep dish, 9" pie crusts
1 can cream of chicken soup
milk
frozen mixed vegetables (I used peas, carrots, corn, Lima bean mix)
frozen hash browns (not patties, although if you break them up maybe they could work too)

Invert one pie crust on towel, allow to thaw 10 minutes or so, until it lies flat.
In a bowl mix soup, 1/2 soup can of milk, vegetables (maybe three cups?), and hash browns (2 or three cups?). It should end up really thick, like mashed potatoes maybe. Place in remaining pie crust and top with flattened crust, make a slice in the center of the pie (or a smiley face).
Bake at 375 F for 45 minutes or until crust is browned.

optional: reduce veg. and hash browns and add chopped cooked chicken.
May need a sprinkle of salt and pepper depending on personal taste.

Drawing a blank

2006-12-14T09:50:00.000-07:00

The problem is I almost never have anything to say, and when I do it is the wrong thing or time. I am pretty sure whatever it is I am always doing wrong is right in front of me, but for the life of me I can't figure it out.
I am thankful for all your blogs though! This gloomy weather mirrored my mood (or vice versa) until I remembered I could go read something from somebody who knows me and might like me anyway.
I can almost face the dirty house.

Almost.

Maybe I'll go Christmas shopping with a credit card.

The children made some homemade gifts for the children in our rotation, and I thought It was o.k. but Stephen goes and says we need to get something 'good'. Grrrr. Am I totally in the wrong or was encouraging them to give what they could (they and I have no money) a good thing? Will our family really be disappointed because we are too thoughtless to get them whatever we could find on the shelf at the store that might be enjoyed by another, or is it better to give what we think is good and the best we (the children) could do this time? Anyway, they had fun thinking of their cousins this way rather than begging for what they want from the store while I try to convince them we aren't there to shop for them, but someone else . Maybe, as always, I am going for the easy way out?

Happy Thanksgiving!

2006-11-23T10:31:00.000-07:00

So many things to be thankful for, where do you start?
I am thankful for...
A five year olds rendition of a pilgrim
someone to go to the store with (yes, even a two year old sometimes)
playing chess on the computer while Adria and Ammon tell me what moves to make
color
Mom and Dad
Grandparents
My ward
Aesthetically pleasing stuff
quilts
quilting magazines
cuddling with a small child
flavors
Holidays
Teachers
'imperfections' of all kinds....
etc.

Have a good one.

Happy Halloweeeeeeen!

2006-10-31T10:41:00.000-07:00

***Picture and costume by Ammon!***

Or will be if blogger starts working today.

Happy Late Birthday to Melanie!

2006-10-30T15:41:00.000-07:00

Trunk or Treating Tonight!

2006-10-28T19:24:00.000-06:00

Thought you all might not mind seeing the snapshots of the kids!

Check this out!

2006-10-25T19:16:00.000-06:00

For some reason this is great fun!

Dum, dum...Dah, Dah!

2006-10-23T17:14:00.001-06:00

It's a finished Mystery Quilt top #2!

It only took me two years! Ahem.

You know, I've been thinking lately that perhaps I spend too much time thinking and usually end up with erroneous conclusions. Often the second my thoughts are interrupted I forget what I was thinking (Winnie the Pooh anyone?). I am unsure if I benefit at all. I hope so. I have at least come to the conclusion that I don't know enough (anything?) and maybe never will. Also, I think somehow there is something just out of reach, and simple as it is I'm not getting it.
How do you know if you are righteous? What really are the commandments now that the law has been fulfilled? Isn't it mainly to repent? How do you repent if you don't know you're messed up? It took me a long time to see how in some ways I am off the mark (and that it may take me that long to correct it), and who knows what else I'm missing? The righteous will be saved, have joy, everlasting life, etc... Will any of us make it I wonder? It seems all you can really do is love everyone and have hope.

I hope.

A Walk in the Park, cont.

2006-10-17T19:08:00.000-06:00

As you can see, I took too many pictures.

I have more, but I think I will move on so I don't bore you all to death!

I'll save them all for another day when I have nothing else to say.

A Walk in the Park

2006-10-13T13:28:00.000-06:00

Non-diapers

2006-09-28T09:48:00.000-06:00

Lando has done really well with potty training! He's been sleeping through the night dry (except twice, I think it was because someone put a diaper on him one evening after an accident so he forgot temporarily-I have since hidden the diapers), and he hasn't had any 'number two' accidents (I don't count the park where there wasn't an available toilet). He loves to wear his "big boys" as he calls them.

We've just done it by encouraging him not to pee his big boys or my bed and giving him a treat every time he uses the potty. Working pretty well for him. Woot!
It's helped the older children too. They have been getting treats for flushing the toilets and not wetting the bed. It's working really well for the flushing, not so great for the wet beds (darn).

2006-09-26T19:16:00.000-06:00

Dropli finds a sponsor. It doesn't last.

Dropli goes on safari.

Dropli as a paleontologist.

Dropli reads his scriptures. Bet you didn't know that.

**Cathie has joined the blogging world. Check her out!***

umm, bad choice of words maybe...

Jest pik-shers

2006-09-22T14:36:00.000-06:00

That thar's a tree.

Fed up with lookin' like a shaggy dog, I cut meh own har.

Back in meh day we didn't have things like that thar co-lar.

Last, but not least.

Introducin' DROPLI !

(yull be see'en mar of him 'cause Ammo and I tried him out in a lot of sitchiashuns).

Gratitude

2006-09-19T19:15:00.000-06:00

Somehow, blessed. As far as I know, nothing has been done for the pear tree. We didn't thin it so some branches broke, as it is still very young, and it hasn't been sprayed or anything, but here we have a bounty of bugless pears to enjoy. I made pie, but the results weren't very photogenic. Thank goodness for internet recipes, so far so good. They have been so tastey, I'll have to bring some your way if they don't overripen or get eaten in the meantime.

By the way. One of my neighbors is running for congress. Here is his video. Tell me what you think.

Epiphany

2006-09-15T16:50:00.000-06:00

As I was reading Alma 60 I felt like a lot of it could totally be applied to our time as far as government and country and/or individuals, so I thought I would share some tidbits. I am going to skip around the chapter and not bother with other references, you'll just have to read it yourself I guess...

...we desire to know the cause of this exceedingly great neglect; yea, we desire to know the cause of your thoughtless state. Can you think to sit upon your thrones in a state of thoughtless stupor, while your enemies are spreading the work of death around you?

...many have fought and bled out their lives because of their great desires which they had for the welfare of this people...

...ye ought to have stirred yourselvves more diligently for the welfare and the freedom of this people; but behold, ye have neglected them...

Behold, could ye suppose that ye could sit upon your thrones, and because of the exceeding goodness of God ye could do nothing and he would deliver you? Behold, if ye have supposed this ye have supposed in vain.

...the Lord suffereth the righteous to be slain that his justice and judgement may come upon the wicked; therefore ye need not suppose that the righteous are lost because they are slain; but behold they do enter into the rest of the Lord their God... I fear exceedingly that the judgments of God will come upon this people, because of their exceeding slothfulness, yea, even the slothfulness of our government...For were it not for the wickedness which first commenced at our head, we could have withstood our enemies that they could have gained no power over us.

...ye are in the heart of our country and ye are surrounded by security...do you suppose that the Lord will still deliver us, while we sit upon our thrones and do not make use of the means which the Lord has provided for us?

...So ye suppose that God will look upon you as guiltless while ye sit still and behold these things? Behold I say unto you, Nay.

...the inward vessel shall be cleansed first, and then shall the outer vessel be cleansed also.

...repent of that which ye have done, and begin to be up and doing...

I will leave the strength and the blessings of God upon them, that none other power can operate against them--And this because of their exceeding faith, and their patience in their tribulations--...behold, I do not fear your power nor your authority, but it is my God whom I fear...

...bestir yourselves in the defence of your country and your little ones...

Behold I wait for assistance from you...

...for behold, the Lord will not suffer that ye shall live and wax strong in your iniquities to destroy his righteous people. Behold, can you suppose that the Lord will spare you and come out in judgment against them...when it is the tradition of their fathers that has caused their hatred...while your iniquity is for the cause of your love of glory and the vain things of the world?

...If those whom ye have appointed your governors do not repent of their sins and iniquities, ye shall go up to battle against them...

And now behold, I am constrained, according to the covenant whichI have made to keep the commandments of my God; therefore I would that ye should adhere to the word of God...

I seek not for power, but to pull it down. I seek not for honor of the world, but for the glory of my God, and the freedom and welfare of my country. (Amen. This should be the motto for our country don't you think?)

Funny that I didn't see it before.

I've joined the masses...

2006-09-12T19:23:00.000-06:00

It was this or a pink razer, but I couldn't justify the extra $50 for a phone with less options, plus I kinda like the dark grey better anyway. Whattya think?

Of Shoes, Socks, and Self-Discovery

2006-09-11T16:42:00.000-06:00

When Stephen travels to CA he often brings home hand-me-downs from our nephew for the boys, often they are way too big or worn, but these shoes were a hit. Ammo loves them, and I have to admit I think they are pretty great.

Here we have Lando's new shoes, which happen to have some similarities to Ammo's. I bought them with the $10 we made at our garage sale (on some little tykes things we've outgrown):

And here are Lando's shoes no longer shiney - only 2 hours later. sigh.

As for socks, we have a mystery. This toddler sized brand new looking female sock came out of my dryer. Where could it have come from?

We haven't had anyone over with this small of a girl for a very long time, other than Kinley (how do you spell her name?), and I don't know that they would have left without at least knowing it was missing, you know? It didn't come out of the basement - we cleaned that out for the garage sale - and the rest of the house has been gone through recently enough that I can't imagine where it could have been hiding. huh.

As for self-discovery. That was a lie. I wish I had something awsome and witty to say to tie them together, but I don't. It just sounded good in the title.

Motivation

2006-09-09T12:22:00.000-06:00

The garage sale went o.k. We really didn't have a lot anyway. Ad sold her old bike for $10, but afterward we were unsure wether it was a real ten dollar bill. I know there is new money coming out, but this looks way off. Guess we'll find out. The boys all spent their dollar they earned at the garage sales down the street, and I am left with ten to decide what to do with. Put it in the account toward a bill, a haircut, pants for one of the children, stash for going to garage sales, crafts, or food....I don't know.
Anyway, it did motivate me to finish the little quilt (see yesterday) and this doll (no they didn't sale, too much for a garage sale I think, and a good thing I suppose, Lando and Big B loved them):

Does she look like a Rachel to you?
Here is a close up of the bottom of her apron:

It started out as an idea for overalls, then it turned to maybe a dress, but it ended up as an apron. I had tons of fun sewing it!
By the way, does she look like a cow to you? Someone that actually noticed it said "cute cow". I didn't think of her as a cow at all, but I suppose it works.

I bought an eggplant at the farmers market just to see what it was. I ended up using this recipe. It's pretty good! I was kind of suprised. I've been eating it on saltines, but it was fine plain too. The children haven't tried it yet, so the jury is still out....

Garage Sale

2006-09-08T09:15:00.000-06:00

The neighborhood is doing a garage sale tomorrow from 7:30 - 2:00 so I have been looking for things to sale. I had recently told Stephen I didn't think we had much, but he feels he has some things in the garage that we don't use. So I got to looking. So far I don't have much, but I was thinking I could finish off that doll to sale (if I can get it done today), and I bound this blanket:

The problem is, I don't have clue what to sale it for. It is just a prequilted panel that I pieced some scraps together for the binding, and all I did was pin it down and stich in the ditch on the front so that the back is kind of a mess. I think the panel was 7-10 dollars, but I can't remember for sure.
The children have all been brainstorming on things to sale too. I think Ad has a plan for a lemonade stand, Ammo has some toys picked out, and T is making some tinfoil covered can people (?), so it should be a family production anyway. Could be kind of fun!

You're one year older, and one year wiser too?

2006-09-05T23:38:00.000-06:00

It's not quite midnight so it's not a belated birthday wish yet, right? I didn't forget, I told B it was your birthday and had a plan, only I just finally remembered the computer. Hope your hot date was wonderful, and I'll bet Megan's cake was (I had a couple of ding dongs all to myself in your honor, thus your lovely birthday picture).
You know, I first looked for 20th birthday pictures, but they were all kinda sleezy, what's up with that? I thought it would be the 21st that would lean that way?

Anyway, I am glad you are you! Love ya!

R is for Robot

2006-08-28T18:43:00.000-06:00

Say Hello to Robo Riley 2006A:

Today I had a rare brainstorm as B and Lando were about to head, once again, to watch a movie. Feeling like I have let them do that too much for their own good, together with the fact that B is learning the letter R in school, and that we have a lot of recycling I haven't taken to the bins, we ended up with R.R. 2006A.

Ammo and Big T came up with the name, B helped pick out boxes and cut out the hands (I wish I had gotten them in the picture), Lando did his best to help too and they all colored him. It went really fast, little mess (duct tape rather than glue, and very little cutting), and they forgot about the T.V. for the duration of the activity and them some. I love these moments.

I haven't posted for a while because I just haven't had much to say. Too much childishness in we adults around here lately, and, until today, not much motivation. I have been working a little here and there on the Mystery Quilt #2 border. I need to get some backing fabric for both of them and for the one we're doing in the ward. It's starting up in two weeks on the 2nd and 4th Tuesdays at 6:30 if anyone is interested in coming ever I would love to have you join us!

2006-08-23T17:33:00.000-06:00

Happy Anniversary to the Parents!

Fly Fun

2006-08-17T19:10:00.000-06:00

Stephen took Ad to a school advertised activity where she got to go up in a small airplane! She loved it so much. Afterward, Stephen says he kinda hoped they'd offer a ride to the parents.
Here are some pictures.

Happy, Happy Birthday, Children Dear....

2006-08-10T15:13:00.000-06:00

Happy Day to Kyle!
(not that he needs it, kicking around in Europe and all)

Back to Normal.

2006-08-09T15:09:00.000-06:00

So if you caught my last post, well, um, too bad. If not (as there were no comments) all the better as my mood swing has passed.
Unable to face the dishes yet (don't worry, I'll get to them), I finished my shirt!

You can't tell from this picture, but it is on the short side. I think a size bigger would have been good. It just doesn't fit all flowy and romantic like the picture on the pattern, but that may be a good thing. It's a keeper- wearable, and it matches a skirt I have had trouble matching to anything. So, Yay!

Mom gave me the material after her cleaning out, and gave me a little bit of a matching sort for the back when I determined there wasn't enough. Megan, you might recognize it? A skirt I think she said? I have to tell you, also, as I trimmed the seam on the first sleeve, I totally cut through the sleeve - not repairable- luckily there was still enough left for another one (whew!). Maybe I ought to have taken a picture, but I was too upset and got to ripping (not picking - ripping) out the sleeve.